Category Archives: The Elynesian Republican

Female rider marries her horse

By our editors in Ilium Novum

An Elysian equestrian loves her horse so much that she decided to get married with her gelding. In an unofficial wedding ceremony Mary Elizabeth and her horse Xerxes were pronounced wife and husband earlier this day.

Though the marriage has no legal significance, the newly wed Mary Elizabeth was very excited. According to her, “Xerxes is a very faithful partner”. The husband seemed to enjoy to wedding carrot cake which was served after the ceremony.

Consummation of the marriage seems unlikely, however, as bestiality carries a life sentence under Elysian law.

Satelliteland goes voting

A report from The Elysian Republican, May 2197

Today the citizens of the Republic of Satelliteland will elect the 225 members of the house of representatives. After fifty years of independence from Elysia, this might be the most important elections in the country’s history. Continue reading →

Background: The Elysian Republican

The Elysian Republican is the major news paper of Elysia. Though most readers will consult the digital version, it still issues a paper version, which appears in three edition as Elysia is divided into three time zones. Continue reading →

Antarctic government orders fusion reactor

From the Elysian Republican, May 2059

From our correspondent in London, UK

The Republic of Antarctica government announced this morning that it has decided to purchase a 10 GW fusion reactor from France. This decision marks an important change in the energy policy of Earth’s southern most nation. Since the colonization of Antarctica, i.e. Mary Bird Land, began in the late 2020s, the Republic of Antarctica has relied on wind power as its principal source of energy. Continue reading →

Earth’s last coal fired power plant has been shut down

From the Elysian Republican, November 2068

From our correspondent in London, UK

Yesterday the last remaining operational coal-fired power station has been decommissioned. The combined cycle station used coal gasification to generate electricity, while its waste heat was used for household heating and its exhaust carbon-dioxide was sequestered in depleted gas fields. Continue reading →

Record transfer fee paid

This morning it was announced that Contra Rock Unlimited will pay 1,000,000 terra for the transfer of The Dusty Daisies lead singer Irene DX. According to Alice DuPerron, the manager of Contra Rock Unlimited, this is the highest transfer fee paid in the history of pop music. But she said:  Continue reading →

The Mystery of the Lake Schiller Man

On December 1, 2048 The Elysian Republican reported:

This morning two schoolgirls have discovered the lifeless body of a yet unidentified man on the beach of Lake Schiller. The two young women immediately alerted the local police, who arrived five minutes later. According to a police spokesperson the body belongs to a man aged 40 to 45 years and approximately 180 centimeters long. Forensic detectives are now investigating the cause of death and the identity of the man.

Continue reading →

International uproar after acquittal in rape case

From The Elysian Republican

Ilium Novum. The district court in the Satelliteland city of New Alpbach has acquitted a twenty-four-year-old human male of a charge of having raped a twenty-year-old female humanoid synthetic organism. Quite remarkable the judges did not acquit the suspect because they believed he was innocent of the facts as described in the charge. On the contrary the court actually considered it to be proven that the human male had sexually penetrated the female HSO by force. The judges found the action of the defendant, however, not to be illegitimate. Continue reading →

A space prince’s wedding

From the site of the The Elysian Republican:

Today is an exciting day for the residents of the Elysian city of Champ-de-l’Elise, because the city will host the wedding of Elysian native Kimberly Felicia “Kim” Newfields with the Prince of Pacheco, one of the world’s last absolute monarchs. Prince Phillipe-Fréderic di Pacheco is the great-grandson of Prince Victor-Emanuel di Pacheco, the founder of the Principality of Pacheco.

For those who have never heard of the Principality of Pacheco, which is however far from surprising since it is a very small and unimportant country in Outer Space, we will give a short historical overview. Victor-Emanuel became the owner of a spherical space habitat, also known as a Bernal Sphere, when he won a lottery which was organized by the Elysian Magrathea Company (the Elysian state corporation responsible for the building of most space habitats). Victor, who was born as a member of middle-class family, bought for five hundred interplanetary credits a lottery ticket. Continue reading →