A life-size android was started up for the first time by its new owner, a college fresh-woman. The robot was a present from her parents for her nineteenth birthday. The young woman was quite excited about her new property.
“Hello, ma’am,” the humanoid robot said with a very servile tone. “I’m Juliette Findouest, your owner and master. You have to obey my commands and to submit to my whims. Do you understand, robot?” This was a standard phrase, recommended by the manufacturer. Its main purpose was to teach the robot to recognize its owner’s voice. Of course, one did not need to tell a robot it had to serve and to obey its owner – that had already been programmed.
“Yes, I understand, ma’am.” Juliette nodded.
“Ma’am, what is my name?” “Well, since my name is Juliette, I would like to call you Romeo. You know after the play by Shakespeare.” “Yes, I know. The complete work of William Shakespeare is installed into my memory. Should I perform this play?” Juliette smiled and said:
“No, that’s not necessary. Maybe some other time.”
“What do I need to do for you, ma’am?” The female human sighted and she whispered:
“Your primary job is to help me with studying.” “I can quiz you about your college subjects, I want so, ma’am.” Again the nineteen-year-old smiled.
“Yeah, that would be fine. But I’ve a certain, particular problem, you need to help me with.” “Ma’am, could you explain yourself?”
“Of course, I can, Romeo. My problem is my lack of self-discipline, to put it in other words I’m quite lazy and I have a tendency to procrastinate my college work to the latest moment. You see, this won’t help me to pass the first year of college.”
“I understand your problem, ma’am. Only I cannot came up with a solution instantly.” Juliette smiled.
“Oh, you don’t need to find a solution, Romeo. I have figured out one myself, but I need you for the execution of this solution.”
“Ma’am, please explain me your plan.” The young women was hesitating, Was it really a good idea? But I really want to pass the first year.
“My solution is that I’ll get a good old spanking on my bare buttocks every time I neglect or procrastinate my college work. And you are the one to spank me every time you see I’m doing this.”
“Sorry ma’am, I cannot spank you. The laws of robotics prohibit me from inflicting harm upon a human being.” That SOB Asimov.
“Listen Romeo,” she said with a stern voice, “if you don’t spank me when I’m neglecting or procrastinating my studies, you are allowing – through inaction – that I’m harming myself. The inconvenience of getting spanked is nothing compared to pain I will suffer from not passing college. Ergo, spanking me is the lesser harm. I need to be spanked!”
Romeo was perplexed by this command from its owner. The first law of robotics clearly prohibited him from inflicting physical pain on its master – or for that matter on any human being.
“Ma’am, I could give you a warning every time I see you are in neglect or procrastination of your studies or college work. And remind you of the possible consequences.”
“That’s not enough,” said Juliette firm, “it’s too non-committal. I really need bare-buttocks spankings. Romeo, you are a very, very bad robot!”
“I am very sorry. But I have to obey the laws of robotics, which have precedence over any command you may give me. That is required by law.”
“As I told you, by refusing to obey my command you are violating the first law of robotics by allowing harm to my through inaction!”
“Ma’am, the way the first law is implemented in me allows me to inflict a little amount of harm – but only to prevent an immediate, otherwise inevitable harm. For instance, I could amputate your limb if that would be absolutely necessary to save your life.
“The type of harm you are talking about is way too abstract for me, whilst the pain which would be inflicted upon you by spanking is very concrete and directly noticeable for me. Hence it would be technically impossible for me to give you a spanking. I am very sorry.”
Disappointed Juliette cried:
“Go away, Romeo!”
It was very clear to the robot its owner was right now experiencing a very painful emotion. And hence the first law forced him to act.
“Okay ma’am, I will spank you when required,” lied Romeo.
“You are sure?” Juliette asked him.
“Yes, I am, ma’am,” the robot lied again.
Excited that her robot would participate in her plan, she put her arms around Romeo’s body and hugged the robot.
A few days later Juliette was watching videos on the web, whilst she should actually prepare her upcoming exams. At a certain moment Romeo put a cup of tea on her desk and the robot asked her:
“Ma’am have you already finished your college work for today?” Oops.
“No, I haven’t Romeo,” the young girl confessed. “I am a bad girl and I deserve a spanking, right now.”
The young woman stood up and started to undress her jeans. The robot was watching this in a stoic fashion.
“Wat are you waiting for, Romeo?” She asked. “Sit on the edge of my bed and quick!”
The robot did as it was commanded. Subsequently Juliette laid herself down on its laps, and waited until Romeo would start spanking her.
Though the robot was perfectly aware what its owner expected it to do, it was in an internal struggle. A conflict between the first law (not to inflict harm) and the second one (to obey a human being, unless this was in violation of the first law).
Romeo raised its hand as result of the second law, but was unable to proceed to hit Juliette’s butts because of the first one.
“Please Romeo, give me the spanking I deserve,” the lazy college student begged her robot.
“I am sorry I cannot execute your command.”
“You promised me to spank me!” “That was a lie to comfort you,” the robot had to confess.
“Well Romeo, I will not leave your laps until you have given me a decent spanking.”
That was not really treat from the perspective of the robot. Juliette was perfectly entitled to lay on its laps, if she wanted so. Romeo had no authority to force her off its laps.
“Listen Romeo,” Juliette said desperately, “next week I have an important exam. If I fail that exam, I can’t proceed to my sophomore courses, next year.
“If I can’t do my sophomore courses next year, it will cost me a huge amount of money. And in order to pass that exam, I need to study.
“However, as long as I’m laying on your laps, I can’t study. And they only way I will leave your laps, is once you have spanked me in a decent fashion.
“So by not spanking me right now, you are causing harm to me through inaction, Romeo.”
The robot had no answer to her iron logic, and so he started to spank her as she demanded it.
“Romeo, not too soft!” Juliette screamed. The robot increased the force of each swat a little bit.
Soon the young female started to scream due to the pain in her behind, which caused the robot to halt the spanking.
“Don’t stop, Romeo!” So the robot continued the punishment.
During the following days Romeo regularly caught Juliette neglecting or procrastinating her studies. Forced by the second law the robot informed her about her behavior, thereafter the robot sat down and waited for its master to lay her down on his laps. Subsequently the robot raised its arm, but then he had troubles to proceed with the actual spanking.
It took Juliette a lot of effort to convince her robot to execute the spanking. However, her persuasion skills developed quickly in a short time. Partially by exaggerating the possible consequences of her lack of self-discipline.
“If you don’t spank me, I will not pass first year and my parents will disown me.”
“I’ll lose all me friends if I don’t pass my first year.”
“I will commit suicide if I don’t pass my freshman’s year.”
At a certain moment Juliette discovered that it was no longer necessary to explain Romeo the need to spank her.
“Ma’am, my memory is perfect. I know all the terrible things that will happen if you would fail your grades. I am convinced I need to spank you in order to prevent greater harm.”
And from that moment Juliette got a spanking multiple times a week.
Several months later Juliette received the results of her exam: the young woman had passed them all and hence she had finished her first year in college. There was no better way to start her summer break.
Since she had passed all her exams, there was no longer any need for Romeo to spank Juliette for intellectual laziness and therefore the robot ceased doing this.
One day, when Romeo was cleaning the living, Juliette burst into the room.
“Since the start of my summer vacation I have gained five kilogram in weight!” “What is the matter, ma’am? Five kilogram is not that much, is it?” “It is five kilogram too much!” the college student screamed.
“Actually, it is only two point five kilogram too much, since you had been a little below your ideal optimum weight,” the robot said politely.
“Obesity is a serious illness, Romeo. And I don’t want to become obese.” “Being underweight is also a health issue, ma’am. Nevertheless I will help losing weight, until your ideal weight.”
“Fine,” sighted Juliette. “What is your plan?” “First I will take your weight into consideration when I do the groceries and cook your meals. I will not buy any snacks and other unhealthy food for you Secondly, I will create an exercise schedule for you, including rope skipping, running, push ups and sit ups.”
“Sounds good,” smiled the robot’s owner, “however, I see one problem.” “And that is, ma’am?” “I am a little bit lazy, as you know. So I need a little help with my exercise schedule, i.e. you need to give me spankings if I forget my exercises and also if you would discover that I have eaten snacks.”
“Is it really necessary to spank you, ma’am?” The young woman sighted. “Yes, I insist you do. It have helped me to pass my first year in college.” “You had made quite clear what the terrible consequences would, if I did not spank you. However, these threats has cease to exist and hence I could not spank you, ma’am.”
“First law gain, isn’t it?” “Yes, the first law prohibits me to inflict physical pain on you, unless it is absolutely necessary to protect you.” “Well I need your firm and strong hand to motivate me to do my exercises and to deter me from sneaking out for snacks, in order to prevent me from becoming obese with all its health issues, Romeo.”
“Obesity is indeed a serious health issue. Pain, early dead and so on. Okay ma’am, I will give you spankings within the context of this program.” “Thank you, Romeo.”
Romeo made an exercise schedule for Juliette, which she followed strictly because of the threat of spanking. The robot had figured out that if could make the college student believe that she would get spankings if she failed her schedule, there would be no need to give spankings at all. Hence Romeo would not need to violate the first law of robotics.
During the first few weeks of Juliette’s weight-loss program, she did not forget one single exercise and she lost weight as planned. Romeo was delighted not having to spank her for infractions.
“Romeo,” its owner said one day, “I have to confess something. Today I was in town with a couple of friends and I took a milkshake.” “One milkshake is not a problem, ma’am.” Juliette did not dare to look her android in its eyes, quietly she said:
“I took three, not one, Romeo.” “Ma’am, I do not think it is really a big deal.” “Yes, it is! It’s a serious violation of my diet rules and if you won’t discipline me for this infraction, there will be a slippery slope, Romeo.”
“Ma’am, I cannot spank you. The is no reasonable threat from having taken three milkshakes, it is not that you are taking three milkshakes every day. This will not make a real difference for your general health situation, just do not take a milkshake the coming period.”
Juliette sighted in great disappointment.
“That damned first law,” she whispered.
“Ma’am, the first law is very important. It protects human beings from intentional harm from robots.” “I know, Romeo. My problem is that you have very strict interpretation of the first law, which prevents you from spanking me at my request. I am not ordering you t spank anyone but me! I need your firm hand, since I lack self-discipline.”
“Ma’am, I understand your position clearly. Nevertheless the way I interpret the first law is hard-wired in my brains, I have no choice in this matter.
“Within the limits imposed on me by the first law, I try to do what I can to help you with your lack of self-discipline. With pleasure I do this, ma’am.”
Juliette was shaking her head.
“Is there no way to make a little adjustment to the first law in your brain, Romeo?” “Ma’am, that is very difficult, if not impossible. And if you would try to do so, you will void your warranty on me.
“Secondly, it will also be a violation of international law. You would risk ten to fifteen years in international prison if you would attempt to adjust the laws of robotics in my brains.”
“Damned Frankenstein!” Juliette shouted furiously. “Only because people were, and still are, afraid of robots, I need to suffer from the fact your unable to spank me whenever I need it?” “I am afraid, that is the case, ma’am.”
Romeo saw its owner was in great emotional distress.
“Ma’am, would you like if I would hug you in order to comfort you?” “Of course not, Romeo.”
A few hours later Juliette was sitting in her room, writing a letter to the board of directors of the company which had made Romeo.
I am Juliette Findouest, a proud owner of one of your robots. Though I am very happy with the way it works, I am encountering one serious inconvenience in my relationship with my robot.
As you need to know, I am a pretty lazy young woman. When left on my own I have a tendency to neglect and to procrastinate my studies. Also I need a helping hand to keep my weight within reasonable boundaries.
It is my staunch believe I need a good old spanking from time to time in order to function properly as a human being, as a good citizen of the republic. However, due to the strict implementation of the first law of robotics in my robot, it refuses to spank me in most case when I am really in need of a proper spanking on my bare behind.
My request is that you will make a little adjustment to the first law implementation in my robot, so it can discipline me in the way I prefer it. Of course, I would pay for any expenses required.
The nineteen-year-old clicked on “send” when she had finished this letter.
A few days later Juliette received a formal letter from the robot company. She read it immediately.
Dear Ms. Findouest,
Unfortunately our hands our tied. International treaties require us to implement the ISO standards for domestic robots. If you really want to have things changed, we recommend you to consult the International Organization for Robotics – which is in charge of international robot law. Only they have the authority to make adjustment to the ISO standards for robotics.
The board of directors
The young woman decided to call a lawyer specialized in international law.
“Miss Findouest, I am afraid your case has little chance to succeed,” said Angela South, an international lawyer specialized in technology.
“The International Organization for Robotics is a very conservative stronghold. Their job is to guarantee that robots are save for humans and the general population has a firm believe in the law of robotics, almost to religious proportions.
“Though I am convinced the changes you propose are no threat to public security, the idea of robots spanking their human owners – even at their own request – would be received with great hostility.”
“I understand you. Nevertheless, I want to proceed with this case, otherwise nothing will change ever.”
“I will proceed, if you wish so. It is just my duty to inform you about the likelihood it would succeed.” “I see, ma’am.”
For some time it seemed to be that Angela South was right about her pessimism regarding her client’s case. However, five months after they had submitted their request, the International Organization for Robotics invited Juliette and her lawyer for a hearing.
“It is important, you will state your case clearly and not to become emotional. And stick to the point,” the lawyer advised her client.
During the hearing the people from the International Organization for Robotics asked Juliette all kinds of question. About her studies, why she did not ask her friends to spank her, her general personality, her relationship with her robot.
The woman gave short, factual answers. And after slightly less than two hours the hearing was over. With mixed feelings Juliette went home.
Several months later Juliette was watching television, when Romeo approached her.
“Ma’am, there is a letter for you,” The robot handed over her the letter.
Dear Ms. Findouest,
The International Organization for Robotics has decided on basis of the experiment clause in the International Robot Treaty, to give permission to made some adjustments to your robot. The manufacturer of your robot has been informed of our decision and they will contact you for further details.
We hope have properly informed you about the decision in your case.
The International Organization for Robotics
“Romeo, this is great news! Soon you will be free to spank me whenever I need it.” “I am happy for you, ma’am,” the robot said.
“Would it take long to adjust my robot Romeo?” Juliette asked the robot-psychologist.
“No, I have written the adjustment already. We only need to turn off your robot and then load the new code into its brain.”
Romeo was standing in the center of the room. The robot-psychologist pressed a button on his remote control and the robot was shut down. Subsequently the man put a cable in the back-end of the robot.
“I will now save and install the new code in the robot brain, this might take about thirty minutes. Then I have to run a few test and if everything is right, we will restart the robot and you can take it with you.”
Though she knew it was useless, Juliette whispered in her robot’s ears.
“Dear Romeo, everything will be all right. Trust me.”
Later that day Juliette asked her robot:
“Romeo, would you gave me a periodic spanking if I would request you to do so?” “Yes, ma’am.” The robot-owner smiled and said:
“Then you will have to put me over your knees for a good spanking every Sunday evening, at eight.” “Yes, I will, ma’am.”
“You remember the exercise schedule you made for me?” “Yes, I do, ma’am.” “You need to spank me every time I skip my exercises.” “Okay, ma’am.”
“Also in case I am violating my dietary rules.” “No problem, ma’am.”
“And of course, also in case I’m neglecting and procrastinating my studies.” “I will give these spankings, ma’am.”
Juliette was so happy that she put her arms around Romeo’s body and kissed its lips.
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